Perseus holding the head of Medusa
cybersyncing said: ok but hear me out: The Hobbit where everything is the same except Bilbo has the personality of Martin Freeman
Curiosity is not a sin… But we should exercise caution with our curiosity.
I’ve been thinking about doing Hamlet manip for months…
this is really great
Okay here is my Richard III and meeting Martin experience story.
(PHOTO COURTESY OF MY DAD I LOOK LIKE TURD BUT HE’S TALKING TO MY FACE AND SIGNING MY THING WE ARE CONVERSING ft. rory)
I was sat front row and front row is literally on the stage. I heard that they had risen the stage so that’s what I was expecting, not to be sat for 3 hours not 3ft from the actors. Sat front row you got A LOT of eye contact from Martin. So much. When he would listen to someone he would stare somewhere random and often at a person. Keeping eye contact for a solid 5 or 6 seconds at least. I got that 4 or 5 times and forgot blinking and breathing were things. The first act was amazing.
The second act was also amazing. I didn’t put on the protective clothing because I wanted to be bled on a bit just to be able to say that I was.
Richard killed someone and it took about 4 minutes, throughout which Martin made some…. interesting sounds. A lot of which sounded like very very very angry sex.
I did get bled on and got fake blood (which is horrendously sticky) all up my arms, on my chest, my dress, and my hair. It was so cool.
The play as a whole was amazing. The whole cast were brilliant and Martin’s comedic timing was so great. So so great. And his facial expressions just afsdfsfs seeing Martin “I can do that with a look” Freeman in action in person was SO SO SO cool and fascinating and amazing.
(Also at some points during the play whenever it hit me that “this is martin freeman. in the flesh. he is 2 ft away from me right now” i’d notice how devastatingly handsome he is and think “wow amanda is so lucky look at him” because my god. does he look good in real life. also his bum looked good when he crouched down in the trousers and when they were pulled slightly tight and you could see…. things)
Onto meeting Martin…..
I went out to stage door about 10 minutes after the play had ended and there was no room behind the metal barriers, so I stood with a few (amazing) others on the other side of Martin’s car (which was a gigantic range rover). By this point I had pretty low hopes of actually meeting him and was just happy seeing him from a distance.
I had heard sometimes he takes an hour to come out, so I was ready to pack it in and go if I had to wait for too long, but it was only about 15 minutes of chatting idly before he came out and there were camera flashes all about the place.
He hit the right side of the stage door first, and I ended up slowly gravitating to the front left hand side of his car the closer he got to the outer edge of the people waiting. Soon enough I was stood not 70cm away from him and his profile was towards me.
I was standing next to Becca hislastbough and Mia martinfreeman and I gave them my pen to borrow for Martin to use and heard them tell him about their relationship and it was the cutest cutest sweetest interaction in the whole whole world <3
and then martin moved away again, just short of signing for me and I had lost nearly all hope, but he stopped to sign for someone else before he was going to go around to the other side and so I took the opportunity of him stood still again to ask him to sign my script book, which he happily obliged . And I was so calm somehow? (Though all of my nervous energy was being channelled through my leg I think bc it wouldn’t stop shaking) He took the pen from me and his hands were so gentle and delicate and he has no qualms about touching hands when handing stuff over he was doing it all over the place and he has such a gentle delicate touch like when he took the book and the pen and gave them back and his fingers were so light and cool.
And while he was signing I thought ‘oh fuck it I’ll hate myself if I don’t’ and so I said words to him that were this:
"I just wanted to say that you were so fantastic. Honestly so so fantastic."
"Really? Oh bless you, thank you so much."
"Honestly. You really really exceeded my expectations, ((‘oh shit cover for that it sounds like you expected him to be bad’)), which were exceptionally high to begin with ((NICE))."
"Wow thank you. I really appreciate that, thank you so much. God bless you." While touching my arm and smiling so nice. He stands so close when he’s talking to you, probably just under 1ft away. And his eyes are so kind and warm and his smile is exactly the same - warm and kind - and it makes his eyes sparkle.
(at some point during all of that the photo was taken - i wasn’t kidding when i said he stands close)
Then he walked away again, but not far away. And Paula bennyslegs and Martin shook hands, and she said “that’s all I wanted” and martin giggled and then someone else put out their hand for martin to shake so I thought ‘fuck it’ again and said:
"Well, seeing as you’re offering." And put out my hand to shake his, and he laughed out an "Ahaha" and took my right hand with his and put his left hand on top and stood so close again and he was grinning and he said after laughing "oh God bless you, thank you." again and it was like a 4 or 5 second hand shake which stopped being a handshake after the first second or two and turned into a still "my hand is covered in martin freeman hands". His hands are so soft and his fingers were cool but his palms were warm and he’s very very gentle. I’m calling him gentle and delicate a lot because he was and is.
And then he signed for Rory justaholmesboy and signed Rory’s sisters shoe which had fake blood on it and everything was cute and he was still really close and his beard and his face were so close to my face……. it was so great.
As for the seeing him experience… pictures don’t do him justice I don’t think. And he looks fucking great in pictures. His smile lights up his WHOLE face and make his eyes shine and crinkle and it’s so nice to see. His smile and his eyes are so warm and kind and inviting and his whole face is like that, actually. His grin is so special and his eye bags are great. His voice is so soft and warm and kind and he has such a nice presence. He’s very patient and when he thanks you you can tell he means it and is so appreciative.
With him standing so close it was hard for me to not (in the least creepy way possible) catch what he smelt like, which is, for those who are interested, pretty neutral, but faintly of something hard to describe but if I had to put into words would be sweet in the way that petals are sweet, but a very faint very light, barely there but definitely there, kind of muskiness. so faintly musky petals. that’s what he smells like.
And when he talks to you, he looks right at you. You can tell he’s really listening and not just thanking you as part of routine. He’s so genuine and lovely.
So basically, it was the best fucking night. My leg didn’t stop shaking for 15 minutes after it all and I was so buzzed for so long and all I could get from my brain to my mouth that was understandable was “that was so cool” just over and over again.
That was so cool.
Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.
Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.
Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.
Ñam Ñam Ñam
Never give me this software. I will literally never get anything done.
Just look at Amanda. :)
This is what I do:
- I observe everything.
- From what I observe, I deduce everything.
- When I’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how mad it might seem, must be the truth.
still upset that the films never acknowledge that Peeta loses a limb in the first arena and goes through the Quarter Quell with a prosthetic leg
or that Katniss has suffered permanent hearing loss in one of her ears and now requires a hearing aid
or, you know, the Avoxes
because, you know, why show disabled people doing things